SUMMARY KEYWORDS
matter, words, people, thoughts, episode, important, negation, specific, curiosity, day, laughter, world, find, sentence, true, immediately, aware, hear, hair
SPEAKERS
Kathi, Daisy
Daisy 00:03
Bold and Blonde, welcome to the Mindset Evolution podcast. Hear about tips, tricks, skills, tools, inspiration, mental hygiene, know what you want and how to create what you desire to achieve predictable results and create a content life wherever you are. And here are your hosts, Kathi Tait and Daisy Papp.
Kathi 00:27
And hello everybody and welcome to another episode of Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution. I'm Kathi Tait, the baldwarrior, your host from Australia. And with me as always your Florida Keys host, Daisy Papp, international excellence coach. Welcome to Episode 49.,Daisy.
Daisy 00:49
Hello, my dear friend, and thank you again for a lovely, lovely, wonderful and kind, sweet introduction. Yes, hello to the world, hello to Australia. And it is wonderfully windy here. So I had big leaves of the palm falling on the roof and I had coconut dropping on the roof. And then you hear a roll off the roof, so it's just funny. And I know that you are heading into wintertime in Brisbane
Kathi 01:17
Yes, I put the electric blanket on the beds. And by the time this episode publishes it will be well and truly. I can assure you that June it gets quite cold even in Australia, because of how big the country is, just a bit like America, I guess. And parts of America will be freezing cold and other parts will be hot; it's like that here too. So today, Daisy, I want to talk about words and how they matter. And it just came to me, like I know that I spring the episode on you, but today it actually sprung itself on me. So what do you think about that? I know that you're a believer that words matter.
Daisy 02:00
Yes, words do matter. And I do believe that there's one important aspect to it that is worthwhile to think about it. What is matter? What is matter itself? You see?
Kathi 02:19
You crack me up? Because that's the last thing I expected you to say. (Laughter)
Daisy 02:24
Well, it's your risk. It's risky. Because when you throw a topic at me, you never know what I will come up with.
Right?
Kathi 02:31
That's very, very true. Okay, so what is matter? Well, I immediately my brain goes to science and says that it's something physical.
Daisy 02:40
There you go. That's that that's already enough that you hit the nail on the head, although you don't even have my hammer. So matter? Yes, it's something physical, matter.
Kathi 02:53
Yes.
Daisy 02:54
And when we now think about it, words matter,
Kathi 02:57
words are physical.
Daisy 02:59
Well, they turn into physical by repetition, in one way or the other. That is why words matter.
Kathi 03:07
That's so interesting. I'm taking notes audience.
Daisy 03:12
She's scribbling,
Kathi 03:14
turn into physical with repetition. And that's so true. Like, that's how you change your mindset right, is by changing how you speak to yourself, how you respond to the world, how much curiosity you have in your day?
Daisy 03:32
Well, now you hit on a very different aspect, because curiosity is something we were born with. And then latest at age six, or seven, when we get into the school system around the globe, as we know it currently, usually, by that time, the curiosity is already domesticated out of the little ones. And that's very dangerous, I believe. So it is important to keep that curiosity up. Therefore, now let's go back to words matter. What is a belief?
Kathi 04:05
It's something that evolves from your personal values and the way you perceive the world?
Daisy 04:14
Yes, that's the perception very good. And also what we are taught how we're conditioned, a person has different beliefs when they are, let's say, in Zimbabwe, or those in Argentina, or those in Honduras, or those in Japan or those in Brisbane or those here in the Florida Keys. So where does it stem from? It is a specific repetition. So beliefs actually are repetitions of words. We hear or we think, or we ponder on, and this is again, words matter. Very interesting play on words here. I do recall, something happened many years ago. I had a very dear friend of mine and he introduced his new girlfriend to me, and we had a family dinner, but I cooked and I invited them over, my son was present. And we had a great time. And at the time, my son had set me up a very nice sound system to the television. So I was able to listen to some very nice video recordings, music that had video as well. And I truly enjoy classical music.
Daisy 05:21
And I played my great uncle's music on YouTube. Little may know that my great uncle, he was a great, great conductor, Karl Richter, and he was a specialist when it comes to Baroque music, so like Johann Sebastian Bach and that era. And I mentioned to that lady, that new girlfriend of my dear friend, well, oh, now you can watch look, because my great uncle, he's playing the harpsichord and he's conducting at the same time. And she says, that's impossible. No one can do that. So we just finished dinner and I said, look, sit on the couch and have a look how he's doing it. She said, no, that's impossible. So she could not imagine anything to be true that was outside of her map that was already established within herself. Although she saw it there on the TV, she saw it. And I showed her the video, I don't know, 5 million views or something like that. So it's not like there was no play. And you can see on the video that it's probably from 1978, or 1981, or something like that. So it was visible, that it's not photoshopped or anything like that. And she just couldn't grasp it and it would
not sink in.
Daisy 06:39
Words matter. So when something as a matter does not exist within us yet, and we're close-minded enough that we cannot imagine things outside of our own system, then it becomes more and more clear how limited her life must be. Because not only wasn't she curious, but she was stubborn enough to chew that for the rest of the evening, that this is impossible. She doesn't believe it. This is impossible, cannot exist, although she saw it. So why do words matter? There are a few things that I tell myself consciously, because I choose specific thoughts and specific sentences that I tell myself throughout the day, more often than not, because I do know that my mind, as yours, we have about 70,000 thoughts a day. Now, can I control most of them? Probably not. And I don't think that we need to fight nature and have our brains do something that it's not made for. But I choose for specific minutes, sometimes even longer, to think a specific thought and make it matter to me. So then it can become matter.
Kathi 08:02
And the word manifestation is flashing through my head right now.
Daisy 08:08
Yes, I'm not blaming you. Because it is, I'm not a scientist, I never pretend being one. But I admired some of them. I study their works and I follow them closely what they find out. And oftentimes I realize, well, that's logical to me, but to many it's not. So I see my role to help people building bridges between their map that they have today and reaching out to and towards the impossible, based on their knowledge and beliefs today. So when I work one on one sessions, my words matter, they do. How I present a new concept to them, it matters how I phrase it, it is the same thing. I can say, oh, I see you're doing well. This might be true or not. And then we go back to assumptions. But that's a different episode that we just released. Nevertheless, when I'm open minded, and I ask instead a question, and I say, so how you doing? Then I leave the answer open to you. When I say well, how are you doing because I see that you're really doing great, then I already influenced the matter. That is why my words matter. And it's my responsibility and many people do just not want to take on that responsibility. Because it's much easier to say, oh, well, this is how my mouth is grown. I always spoke like that I'm not going to change. Fine. I cannot change your thought about that. And I'm not trying to, because it's your responsibility, and I'm aware of it. So you see now my thinking process will influence the words I'm spending time with and I linger with, those thoughts or sentences or words that I linger with more often, that can be good thoughts, or hateful thoughts, angry thoughts, loving thoughts, grateful thoughts, that's my choice, I'm responsible. And then it will influence how I feel. When I tell myself in the morning, when I get up, terrible, another bad day, it will change my attitude. Why? Directly, because my thoughts have an impact on how I feel, how I feel has an impact on how I behave, how I behave, that in turn has an impact on the results I'm getting. So words matter. And it starts with thought, even when I don't feel well and I start repeating a very nice sentence, that can be filled with gratitude, because gratitude is a very, very high vibration. It's measurable. So I'm not coming up with this, this is not woo woo. This is not like spiritual, blah, blah. No, this is science. Go and look it up on the worldwide net, you're able to find thousands and thousands of pages, where it's described and how its measured. So I can choose when I'm not feeling so well, to think repetitively specific words, that will have an impact on how I feel, and therefore it will impact my behavior, and therefore the results will be impacted. So it's totally my responsibility. That is how words matter.
Kathi 11:25
Yeah, I think that that's spot on, and you've explained it really well in a way where you can see the progression from it becoming a thought in the first place, and how it actually impacts your life. And I know, also, from people I've worked with, in my own past that this, it's such a big difference when you one, open your mindset to possibility, instead of having fixed beliefs about things, and to how you talk to yourself. And this was a really important part of my alopecia journey, because there was a time when I was young, where I hated my hair. And I could not see any possibility of me being bald, it was just not in my realm of it's ever going to happen, because that's the belief system that I had built over time. And it took some fairly big sort of upheavals in the way I perceived myself and thought about my future that enabled me to take the giant step into being a different person within me, and being able to be bald, and being happy about it, it was inconceivable to me back then.
Daisy 12:45
Well, you did not know that behavior is all that matters back then. Because had you known back then, then it would not have been so clearly your wish to remain a person or a face with hair. Because you put so much weight and value on something external,
Kathi 13:06
Correct. And I had no role model to show me that I was not my hair, which is why I do what I do today with the Baldwarrior, to be that person that other people can look at her, well, if she can do it, then maybe I can do it, too. There was nobody like that for me. And I think that that's really important. And that's why we have to speak up. That's why we do this podcast, right, is to lead the way for others to go well, I can do it too, then, because we've both been through so many tragedies and come out the other side, very empowered, and we've used it to grow. And we want other people to also do that. And these episodes are designed to help you do that. It sort of evolved, how we've done this right, on its own and it's come to be that I get to pick the topics and Daisy doesn't get to know what they are till we record. And it's a bit of a joke between us because it's fun. But I actually think it's really important because I take my inspiration from people I meet out in the world. And we need to talk about that because I can see it happening in the people around me. So yeah, these episodes are really special to me.
Daisy 14:17
Me too.
Kathi 14:18
Anyway, back to, back to words matter. This is such a great topic and I think that you've explained it so well so fast, that we're only halfway through our normal episode, Daisy. So I would like to maybe throw it back out to our audience and say, how can we get them to apply this in their own lives? What can they do to put this into action? Let's do one of those episodes.
Daisy 14:44
Well, it starts with observation and self-observation, because let's face it, most people are not aware what they do, why they do what they're doing when they do it. And when we become more aware, it's usually easier to be aware what other people do, because we see it through our eyes, as an observer, that's why feedback is so important, because we don't see ourselves from the outside. Well, we can do that in the empowering audio programs, or we can do that in meditation, or we can do that when we do hypnosis. Nevertheless, we do not perceive ourselves as the outside world would. So start watching, let's say, a YouTube snippet, that can be a sitcom, that can be soap, that can be the news. And keep your remote control with you so that you can stop it at any moment. And then listen to one sentence, and then just stop it. What did they just say? Did they mean what they say? Was it manipulative? Are they trying to make you look in a specific direction, instead of having a clear neutral statement made? That is actually the problem that we're facing now globally, because the level of brainwashed brains is just absolutely stunning. And the media is very responsible for the level of low education because they educated people to stop thinking for themselves.
Kathi 16:13
Yes. And that directly goes back to words matter, doesn't it?
Daisy 16:17
Yes. Now I'm responsible for my words, internally and externally. So intra- communication, what happens that happens within me and conversational? We want to watch what people do, not in the action itself, but verbally, let's start with the words matter. How many people do you hear? They say, oh, yeah, I have to go to my job again, I just hate it. Really? Do you believe a person who's saying that, that they are aware of the word hate and hatred, what it really means, by definition, and after they looked up, or research the definition of the word hate or hatred, is that truly expressing how they feel, or how they relate to their job, or the people at the job site? So that is, I think, very important that we start observing. It's very interesting when I work with clients, and I teach them communication skills. And I'm not perfect, I'm trying to be the best I can be. But I'm not perfect. And I remember I said something the other day in the session I said, yeah, well, I don't know how to do that. And you know what my client said? Yet, you need to add yet. So it's true. And I love it. So now, the roles start becoming reverse. They are so aware that they catch me when I slip words matter? Because is it really true I do not know that? Or is it true, I do not know that yet? Big, big difference, because it will have an impact on my attitude towards the topic. I don't know, or I don't know yet. When I add that little three letter word yet, at the end, it implements and includes, in cludes, not excludes, includes that, oh, there's a possibility that I will know it eventually one day. So you see words matter, even that tiny little yet at the end. Fortunately, I have a few people who call me out when I slip. Usually, I'm the one calling people out when they slip, because they have sessions with me to learn that. And I'm so grateful that when my own clients then call me out, makes me aware. So that is why it is also a very good idea to create a sentence that is completely positive. What do I mean by completely positive? The brain does not understand "no", or negation. Simple example, do not think of the iguana sitting on my lounger holding a cocktail in its hand. I know I just bring it up. I could have said the elephant. Do not think of the white elephant with red hearts on it.
Kathi 19:06
Immediately I think of it.
Daisy 19:09
That is a very clear experiment everyone and anyone can do and get even feedback. They can do it in their family. Oh, don't think of that beer in the fridge. As you immediately get thirsty, don't you? Or if you don't like beer, you still think of the fridge or what else is in there that might be to your liking?
Kathi 19:25
Yeah.
Daisy 19:25
So we want to understand, because I think it is essential that negation and no does not exist in our function of the brain. So a completely positive sentence would be something, think of something that makes you really feel good. That can be any time. Now this is open like the ocean, isn't it?
Kathi 19:49
Yep.
Daisy 19:50
So create a sentence that has no negation, but we're trained to have these negations. it's very simple to find out when you ask people, let's ask 100 people, what do you want? Well, I don't know. What is it that you don't want? Oh, I don't want this, I don't want that, and the list goes from A to Z, and they're just like, a well of words comes out, because they already know so clearly what they don't want. Well, that's a different episode, how we can use what we don't want to find out what we do want, that's a different story. But words do matter. So find something that you really want and make it as clear as possible. And everyone, I'm certain, no matter how busy you are, all of our listeners will have 30 seconds to repeat that completely positive sentence to themselves. And then notice how you feel; it will have an impact.
Kathi 20:40
Absolutely. And I when you were talking about that, I was thinking and I thought about it the other day as well, that is very common, not just in Australia, but around the world. I think when people say, how are you? A lot of the time, people will say not too bad.
Daisy 20:57
So now imagine what they're telling themselves. Too bad.
Kathi 21:01
Yeah, exactly.
Daisy 21:02
So they set themselves up for a low level of gratitude.
Kathi 21:06
And it's not even a conscious thing. It's like an automatic reply, especially here in Australia. Not bad, not too bad. It's one of those trained responses, which is why I'm bringing it up.
Daisy 21:17
And people are not aware. Yes.
Kathi 21:19
Which is why I'm bringing it up. So consciously see if you were saying that, guys. And if you are, let's change it to the positive version, which is, I'm great.
Daisy 21:31
Well, but not everyone is great. So I do believe, that to insert here, a really good exercise, instead of automatically answering How are you? Oh, I'm okay. I'm great. Okay, fine. Hold your word for a moment and check in with yourself, how are you really doing? Most people are not even aware of how they're doing. They have no clue. They may answer because they want to remain polite, or they want to remain private. They don't want to share because it's none of their business to know that actually, I have a little pain in my left toe or I broke my toenail or my hair fell off, or whatever it is. So check in with yourself and start saying the truth. Start saying it out. Start speaking truth. Stop lying to yourself and to the world. Basics. Words matter.
Kathi 22:27
And I'm sure that's going to be a very scary thing for a lot of people actually. Just the truth.
Daisy 22:33
Well, what is the truth, because there are many aspects to truth, if we look at truth from a not scientifical angle. So for example, yes, gravity is this much here, or the air pressure is that much there, and the humidity is measured this much here. So that is different. So how can you measure how well are you doing? There are tools that we can use how you're doing. But this is not the right platform to describe it, because it needs to be something people can see when I draw it on a piece of paper so they can see it. Nevertheless, check in with yourself. How are you really doing, because you matter? You matter. And if you'd only start saying, dear listeners out there, I matter. Let's say put an alarm on your phone three times a day, once mid-morning, once early afternoon, once in the evening, 30 seconds, I matter, and repeat that. Repeat it to yourself, you don't even have to tell anyone about it. Or you can do it as a family. And say it in a chorus, that may be fun too. I matter, because it helps the other person become reality based. Oh I matter and they matter too, so we can become more on a level, eye to eye. It's not oh you matter more than I do. No, I matter period. It's a statement. Words matter. And you matter. And my dear listeners and your dear listeners, when we do separate shows and our listeners here, they matter. Please listeners out you repeat to yourself five times, I matter, I matter, I matter, and give it a specific tone to it. And you will do that for seven days for 10 days for three weeks. And you will realize, wow I matter. You will have a different outlook. Very simple step. So easy. An investment of 30 seconds with a great reward, great return on investment. Invest in yourself. Words matter.
Kathi 24:30
I love it. I especially love the doing it together as a family. I think that that is a really great idea. And we create some real equilibrium, if you will, in the family unit. So I think that's brilliant.
Daisy 24:45
In the family unit though, I would say at first I matter, I matter and then turn it around and say you matter and look in the other person's eyes. Within a week you will have a completely different dynamic in the family, completely different, completely different. I do that with couples when I work with them at specific points in time where they're sharing specific, not only you matter, but specific words and specific thoughts with one another, and they can generate a level of intimacy they never even had before their crisis. So, yes, we can also start if you find it more polite, you matter first, and then I matter, because we are taught in our society and I see it around the globe, because I work with people from so many countries and so many backgrounds and so many cultures and religions, that it's becoming obvious to me that it's almost kind of considered egotistical to speak about yourself, I matter.
Kathi 25:41
Yes, I've found the same thing, Daisy, but I also have a very strong belief that it starts with self. If you haven't got yourself right, then how can you be there for other people? So I think that selfishness needs to be re-thought of, because it's got negative connotations, but actually, I think they're very important in our journey to be our best version, so we can help others be their best version. I know that you agree with that.
Daisy 26:08
I agree with you. Nevertheless, I do believe there are some words that are truly good to delete from our vocabulary. I would not use the word selfish, because sell a fish. No, selfish. Now, let's come to our senses
here. (Laughter)
Kathi 26:30
Sell a fish, okay..
Daisy 26:32
No, it's not about ?
Kathi 26:34
I know you love your wordplay.
Daisy 26:36
Yes. So let's change it into self-care.
Kathi 26:40
Self-care? Yes.
Daisy 26:42
It's like hygiene
Kathi 26:43
a really powerful thing.
Daisy 26:44
I wash my hands, and I wash my teeth, and I wash my hair, and I wash my nose and my face and my toes and self-care. Self-care. If we would use in a conversation, instead of saying, yeah, well, I need some time for myself, I really feel the need and the urge to take some time out because I need to recover from some thinking patterns that I'm just having, because they matter. And then let's say the other person would say, oh, yeah, because you're so selfish. How often did you hear that? Maybe if you'd never experienced it, lucky you, then you've seen it in a movie or maybe in the theater, or maybe observe your neighbors or friends or people in the community? No, what does selfish mean to you, I'm selling a fish? No, I care for myself. And that already changes the dynamics, into sky levels, into different planes. Let's say you have a sailboat and you just stop the wind. What happens to the sailboat? It stops. Viola. Goal achieved! Oh, I'm doing some self-care today. Doesn't it sound much nicer? And isn't it more the truth? Isn't it more explaining and describing what is really going on? And what I'm really anticipating doing and participating in?
Kathi 28:03
Yeah, absolutely. It's so much more positive. And I think that it immediately evokes a different reaction.
Daisy 28:11
Completely
Kathi 28:12
Like a different instinct. Yeah, immediately.
Daisy 28:14
Told you, words matter.
Kathi 28:17
And you didn't think you'd have anything to say. I knew better! (Laughter)
Daisy 28:24
I really had that thought. Oh, words matter. What am I going to say about this one? (Laughter) You saw it on my face, probably when you announced the topic.
Kathi 28:31
I did, I did. But it's been an amazing episode, so thank you, Daisy, because you've certainly laid it out in a really great way that's really easy to understand. And I think try for yourself at home guys. So, our gift to you is this episode and its little exercises to help you change your world just from changing your words.
Daisy 28:54
Mmm, that's right. That's right. I agree. So you matter, Kathi.
Kathi 28:58
You matter too, Daisy.
Daisy 29:00
Thank you. I matter.
Kathi 29:01
I matter. Repeat it to yourself five times, three times a day. See how you feel guys and let us know we'd love getting your feedback. You can contact us on our website baldandblonde.live using the contact form. You can find us on Instagram baldandblonde.live, you can find us on Facebook at BaldandBlonde. We'd love to hear from you guys. That's all we have time for today. One last word from Daisy.
Daisy 29:29
Remember, words matter. And if you don't feel in alignment, and you don't feel it to be true yet, when you tell yourself "I matter", repeat it until you will believe it. Because a belief is the repetition of a specific word or thought. And when you repeat good ones, you will have great outcomes.
Kathi 29:50
Awesome. couldn't have said it better myself, Daisy.
Daisy 29:53
Thank you
Kathi 29:54
That's it from us today. We'll see you next week with another episode of Bald and Blonde
Daisy 29:59
Mindset Evolution. Talk to you next week.
Daisy 30:04
Thank you for tuning in to the Bald and Blonde Mindset Evolution podcast. If you love what you're hearing, please subscribe to our podcast. In our show notes, you'll find the link to our Facebook group where you can personally connect with Daisy and Kathi and the link to our website, where you can find all of our previous episodes and much more of goodies so you can get more value. Please leave us a review on Apple podcast or Podchaser, that really helps out the show and helps us to get some powerful feedback from you. Talk to you soon.